Rising Above - Dealing with Scummy Days
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Buildings and bridges
Are made to bend in the wind To withstand the world That's what it takes.
All that steel and stone
Are no match for the air, my friend What doesn't bend breaks What doesn't bend breaks.
- Ani Difranco, singer
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I don't know about you, but when I'm having a bad day, I like to really wallow in the muck, eat too much chocolate, and then pick fights with my family - really spread that misery around!
#KiddingNotKidding.
But sometimes there's just no time for a pity party. Or maybe the party's gotten stale.
That's where resilience comes in: the ability to recover quickly from setbacks. To get back up one more time than you fall down.
A couple of months ago, I had one of those weekends. I'd just had some orthodontic work done, and was in a lot of pain. It was also the first grey and chilly weekend of August - the kind of weekend that portends the early and abrupt arrival of Fall. I hadn't had much time to work on my blog, and I was discouraged about the slow pace of progress. All I wanted was to curl up in a blanket and sulk.
But I also wasn't ready to forfeit my precious weekend to doom and gloom. I needed a way to rise above the scum.
There are lots of ways to get out of a funk.
Good old fashioned exercise is often enough to help shift gears, but honestly, when I'm cranky, feeling like I should get moving usually just adds resentment to the fire <Don't tell me what to do!...sulk wallow wallow...>
Some people use yoga or another type of meditation to help direct their focus. These are both effective, but require (or appear to require) alignment with a spiritual practice that may feel uncomfortable.
If this describes you, a mindfulness practice could be an approachable alternative.
For instance, I recently embarked on a 30-day mindfulness challenge that encourages participants to Take 5 (literally, take five deep, deliberate breaths) throughout the day to refocus attention and create mental space to "take the next wise step."
That's it: five deep breaths. I can even do it on the couch!
Full disclosure: I'm new at this, and I'm on my third attempt to complete the challenge. The first time I got through 11 days, and then only two days on the second try. I'm now on Day 14, and I think this one's gonna take.
I like this practice because of it's accessibility. I can do it wherever I am, whenever I need it. I can do it without drawing attention to myself, and I can repeat it until I've noticed an improved sense of calm/creativity/focus/presence/
I hadn't started the mindfulness challenge at the time of this story, but luckily I have a couple other tools in the box.
Since I was feeling discouraged about a perceived lack of achievement, I decided a good place to start was to make a list of what was going right, instead of dwelling on what wasn't. As my father-in-law says: "Time to change the cassette!"
The truth is I'd had such a productive summer! Between June and August I:
- Conceptualized and laid progressive groundwork toward building a business from scratch
- Started and maintained a disciplined writing practice
- Launched a blog
- Managed friendly neighbourhood communications for my strata council
- Swam 22 km
- Entertained and supported friends and family, near and far
- And I even hit it out of the park on a number of projects back at the office.
I probably can't take credit for the latter, but even if it had stayed cool and rainy I would have been in a much better place to deal.
What do you like to do to pull yourself out of a slump? I'd love to hear your ideas in the comments.
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If you like my blog, I bet your friends will too. Thanks for sharing.
Photo courtesy of Ian Dooley @ Unsplash
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